Lauren’s poem

Lauren2 (for website)
Lauren2 (for website)

One25 posted this on 03/09/2020

What does my voice sound like?
How am I going to express
that babble babble babble?
NO I can’t say that

I wish my voice was strong
and confident like yours
Even wish it was full of courage
and wisdom just like hers

What does my voice sound like?

Sometimes it sounds like my mum’s
judgemental critical spiteful painful ssssh shameful

What it sounds like in here
(my heart) is so unclear
Cause its mingled and entangled
with guilt, shame and fear

Yeah sometimes it’s hard
to hear what my voice sounds like
Yes up in here
(my head)

Black outs… knock outs
No one to hear my cries
Abuse, neglect, rejection
Lonely nights of isolation
So I know what my voice sounds like to YOU
It’s a moan It’s a groan
It’s a no

Be quiet Be still
It’s a slap or a punch
It’s a ‘your worthless… wish you had never been born’
Be quiet Be still

You have never looked at me
So how on earth could you have ever heard me
Or recognize my voice
If you refuse to see me or visualize me even as a child
Teach me speak to me
Help me understand why I was never part of your plans
Left alone… without a voice…

Today I stand amongst giants
Back from the dead

They taught me how to speak, laugh
Speak up and be heard, they said
Have your say
In my own special way
My voice is an echo in the dark
Running towards the light, saying
I’m still here

And I know what my voice sounds like
It sounds like your secrets
were never mine to keep
Your shame, guilt and pain
were never mine to carry

It says I am who I AM
Which is strong and beautiful
I am courageous and today I walk fearless
I will not hide, neither will I be denied
I have the right to speak
…to voice my opinions and objections.
To tell my story in my own words
…with this
Strong Voice.

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